Take This Shadow
by Meredith Bronwen Mallory
Summary: Usagi finds an unlikely form of support in the last days before Galaxia's attack.


AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Now let me see... who can I blame this time? looks around, sees everyone

whistling innocently Hmph! Well, I'm not taking responsibility for this,

no Ma'am. ^_~ whirls around and points at the White Prince YOU! This is

YOUR fault!

(LELU: I'd believe it.)

*Ahem*.... Yes, well, despite the fact that Demando had a hand in all this,

the story is technically Usa/Mamo. Really, it is. I promise. Would this

face lie?

....

Don't answer that. ^_^

Alright, this piece is strictly canon, so of course, Mamoru gets the girl.

This is meant to take place from Episode 194 through the end of the series,

but it all takes place off camera. It might help if you were slightly

familiar with Stars, but it isn't necessary. I also want to doff my hat to

DQBunny, for her Senshi in College series. It was her idea of incorporating

the Sailor Cosmos/Chibi Chibi bit into the anime that helped inspire this

story. That said, you should remember that I am considering Chibi Chibi to

be an extension of Sailor Cosmos and NOT Galaxia's star seed. Actually-

this story can make sense without that, however...

Have I confused you yet? ^^;

On that note, I'll let you read the story. But I do need to thank Patchie

for her impromptu help (THERE'S the one you can blame! ^_~). Kawaii, I

apologize for not waiting to show this to you. It was burning a whole in my

hard-drive. Have fun, Minna!

~Meredith

[http://www.demando.net/]

Legal Disclaimer: (to the tune of 'This Old Man')

This old gal,

She writes fics,

And she does it just for kicks,

So if you're nice you will not sue,

'Cause that would make her very blue. ^_^

Personal Disclaimer: I'm a Hopeless Romantic... but not a very nice one.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Ps. Just remember- Mamoru gets the girl.

---------------------------------------------

Take This Shadow 1/1

by Meredith Browen Mallory

mallorys-girl@cinci.rr.com

---------------------------------------------

I'm not sure you'll want to read this. Of course, I can't stop you, but if

you do choose to read this, remember that I *did* warn you. After all,

people are terribly protective of their heroes- they can't seem to bare

acknowledging the flaws. That's funny, really it is. For what are heroes

but human beings that have been pressed to their limit and retained that

nobility of heart, that purity... Yes, so I will tell you about Usagi.

There wasn't a transition I can speak of. There was, for quite some time,

an endless sea of black water which ran its currents around and through my

mind. I don't remember anything else- just the darkness, the sense of not

being there. Then I was alive, just like that. I jerked forward from where

I had been resting, astonished by the fact I could think and feel and

breathe and simply *be* again. I'm not sure how long I sat there, unaware

of my surroundings, chest heaving like someone awakened from a nightmare.

Indeed, one of my first fears was that my life had all been one long,

endless nightmare and that in my dreaming I had forgotten who I truly was.

But no, I clearly remembered dying, and Serenity was someone to perfect to

simply be the dream of one man. Gradually, my breath began to slow and I

gained enough presence of mind to look around.

Just the light told me I was on Earth. On Nemesis, the only light we have

is from the ever-twinkling band of the Milky Way; brilliant in its own way,

but utterly cold compared to the warmth of the sun. Through the

half-opened, pale-curtained window, I could see that the bright orb was

sinking below the horizon, giving way to night. Not night as I had known it

for, compared to Nemesis, Earth has never known true darkness. Looking

back, I suppose that could be taken both literally and figuratively. I

gazed around me, wondering at the Spartan surroundings that somehow seemed

more inviting than my own opulent chambers. There was a small night-stand

beside my wrought-iron single bed, and a dresser on the other side of the

room. From my vantage-point, I could see a small door way leading to a

bathroom, and another leading out into a hall. Still, however bare the

room, it had about it an air of having been taken care of. Spell-bound by

the prospect of being on Earth, I turned my attention back to the window

and cried out in surprise.

There sat on the end of my bed a dainty, lithe figure. So suddenly had it

appeared that for one panic-dazed moment I thought that it had simply grown

from the room, from the quiet, and from the sunset. As I had been trained

to since the time I was a small child, I reached for the magic of the

Jakokuzuishou. Though on Earth, I had forgotten the cardinal rule of

Nemesis- to let down your guard is to let go of your life. So I reached for

that familiar, sensual dark energy, and was met with an empty recoil that

physically threw me. I fell back onto my pillow, confused and disgusted

with my weakness.

"The Jakokuzuishou, Demando-ouji-sama," the figure's voice came, "no

longer lends its magic to anyone." Indescribably, soft and sad and

sorrowful, that voice was. Leaning over, the figure moved the quilt up,

then pulled back to study me. I took advantage of this, running my eyes

over its indistinct form. It was light and shadow, draped in rich blue silk

so that the cowl shadowed almost the entirety of the stranger's face. All I

could see was the faintest shadow of dainty pink lips (in and of themselves

a work of art), and a delicately carved jaw. A she, then, by these things

and the way she held herself, the way the silk pooled around her. At last,

the full weight of what she'd said settled around my shoulders.

"To anyone?" I asked softly, for the first time wondering how long I'd

laid in that dark, bottomless ocean.

"It sleeps, now," she answered with a slow nod of her head, "It must

rebuild itself, as anything wrongly used must."

"I see," I said, though that last bit of information had only served to

make me more nervous. As glad as I was to be alive again, I knew that this

was no common occurrence Surely there was some price to be paid, a favor to

be extracted. "And what about me?" I asked.

"Let me ask you a question, Demando-ouji-sama," she said, setting against

the foot-board. The silk rustled as she drew in her breath, "How long have

you allowed others to steer you through your desires?"

I blanched at that, "A long time- too long a time."

"Indeed," she nodded, a regal nod, "It is a waste of life and a waste of

yourself. You have it all back now- you have another chance."

"Why me?" I asked, finding the strength to sit up again, "Surely this

doesn't happen to everyone." The blue robes drew and quaked as she

stiffened, bowing her head sorrowfully.

"No," she said quietly, "Not everyone gets that chance. But you have

something to give- something important."

"What and to whom?" I prompted impatiently. She moved her head quite

suddenly, and I could feel her eyes resting on me from beneath the cowl's

shadow. Her lips drew up in a half-hearted smile.

"I never knew you were so inquisitive," she said, and her smile was in her

voice as well. "You have comfort to give," she said after some

consideration, "so Usagi."

"Usagi..." I breathed the word, seized by the sudden memory of her arms

around my dying body, the warmth of them and the look in her eyes. Tears,

yes, she had cried for me. Somewhere, there was an echo of that rendered in

sheer disbelief. She cried for ME.

The figure's soft half-way laugh, gentle and without reproach, gained my

attention once more. "Yes, Usagi," she said, and without another word stood

and glided (there should be another word there, I think, for her grace was

a learned thing) towards the door.

"Wait!" I cried, perhaps a bit desperately, "Who are you?"

"What do you think you should call me?" I looked at her, the blue silk

lighted by the setting sun so that I could see the barest outlines of an

artistic figure.

"Lys," I said quickly.

"Lys?" there was more than polite interest behind the question. I wasn't

the only one fumbling for identity.

"Yes- it's Norwegian, I think. It means 'light'." She bowed a little,

gratefully. There was something in her body language that was so

expressive... I didn't need to see her face.

"Thank you," she breathed.

"Why can't you tell me who you really are?" I asked, unable to stem the

flow of questions. Turning, she moved towards the door once more and I was

sure she wouldn't answer me. But her voice floated out from the hallway.

"I can't tell you who I am because I do not know."

For a long while, I sat there staring after her. Desperately, I tried to

organize my thoughts, move into some state of acceptance. I was alive,

grateful and very confused- but the possibility of seeing Usagi dangled in

front of me with a tantalizing light. Did Lys know, then, what effect that

small golden girl has on me? Serenity, Sailor Moon, Usagi- in my mind they

are facets of a singular gem. I ran the scenario over and over again in my

mind. Obviously, Usagi had triumphed over the Wiseman and the Jakokuzuishou

had fallen into disrepair. For a moment, I considered that perhaps Lys was

Sailor Pluto, for on Nemesis the tales of the Silver Millennium insisted

that she was not above meddling in the time-stream. However, I'd always

been under the impression that she worked perhaps a bit more bluntly than

my shadowy hostess. Who was the sorrowful blue specter, then? The fading

scent of Lys' presence still hung about the room, and from that I tried to

garner some knowledge of her. I owed her my life, or so I'd been led to

believe. Surely then, she must have some use for me- there are few who

would do such things in a self-less manner. And for her to have that type

of power, that sway over life and death...

[What do you think you should call me?]

How many names did she have?

[I can't tell you who I am because I do not know]

And yet she could raise the dead.

In the end, my eyes began to grow heavy and I laid back against the

pillows, wondering exhaustedly how I could possibly be so tired after

having been dead. So tired was I that I barely noticed Lys as she

re-entered the room and bent over me softly. Her hands soothed me down, and

the last thing I heard was her whispered "sleep..." before I struggled

against the closing darkness.

---

Waking the second time was much easier, and left me feeling much more

energetic. I got out of bed with considerable ease and found to my surprise

that the wounds on my back and stomach had been bandaged expertly. I still

wore my white slacks, though the ornamented jacket was no where to be

found. Someone- Lys most probably- had laid out a pair of brown pants and a

matching shirt, so I took the liberty of cleaning myself up and changing.

A look in the mirror proved without a doubt that my link with the

Jakokuzuishou had been severed, for black moon sigil had vanished from my

brow. It was so surreal- I had been Marked to use the Jakokuzuishou since

my twelfth year. Suddenly, I found myself sympathizing with Lys; in loosing

my Marking I had lost a part of myself.

Finally, the curiosity driving at my mind won out, urging my to pass the

borders of my room and see what lay beyond. It was still dark outside my

window, but it was a waiting dark, and somewhere inside myself I felt a

little jolt of excitement. I remembered being a kid and seeing a flat

projection of Earth's sunrise. The image had been old, and faded from being

played far too often, but my imagination livened the colors and tried to

bring forth that warmth I couldn't know. Even now I remember the yearning

that was in me then, that wanting half-fulfillment. I had wanted to see a

real sunrise, and now I would get my chance.

The hallway outside my room was mostly unadorned, but the polished wood

was pleasant against my bare feet. Down the way, I could hear the sounds of

cutlery being moved about, and soon found that the corridor spilled into a

kitchen. Lys was there, all dripping, watery, faceless blue silk.

"Did you have a nice rest?" she asked as she moved towards the small

table, plate in hand. Again, her hooded face lifted so that I knew she was

looking at me, and I ran a hand through my hair to stem the nervous energy

that rose within me.

"Yes. How long was I asleep?"

"Back to the questions?" she asked, setting the plate down and motioning

me to the table. "You slept a good nine hours."

"Ah..." I said, taking a seat and looking down at the unfamiliar dish

before me. I opened my mouth to ask another question, but her swift hand

rose and signaled for silence.

"It's 4:30 am now," Lys told me, having somehow anticipated the inquiry,

"And those," she pointed to the white and yellow mass on my plate, "are

eggs."

"Are they now?" I smiled in what must have been a very silly manner, for

she started a bit beneath her silken robes. I glanced out the window, still

smiling, "This is Earth... I still can't believe it. When I was- when I was

here before, it didn't really register, somehow."

"The Wiseman did that," Lys turned away and filled a glass of water for

me. There was another strange, Earthen miracle- water.

"Pardon?" I asked, wondering just how intimately she knew me.

"Your earrings, the shards of the Jakokuzuishou," Lys explained, "They

tuned out certain things. The wonder of Earth would have made you less

willing to destroy this planet, and it would have made you more vulnerable

to... to Usagi's reasoning. The Wiseman knew that."

"How long has it been?" I asked, once again disgusted with myself. Weak-

how weak I was! Used, warped, blinded- not by my love but by someone else's

alien logic.

"I'd say about a year and a half, Usagi's time," my hostess said, her tone

a bit more than matter of fact. I nodded slowly, tentatively trying the

eggs. After the first bite, I found myself quite taken with the food, and

polished the rest off quickly. Lys took the chair opposite me, gazing out

the window at the Tokyo skyline.

After an extended period spent gazing on her cloaked figure, I asked;

"What about you?"

She turned the question back on me, "What about me?"

"I'd just like to know- anything you can tell me, I suppose," I tried to

meet her shadowed gaze, "I've been mislead by one too many mysterious

advisors."

"TouchZÿ," she said quietly, and laughed a little. It was an uncomfortable

laugh, though, like it was being drawn out of her against her will. Lys

folded her hands on the table and studied them for a moment. "I'm here to

find something I lost, I guess you could say. Strength, purpose... I had

those, but somewhere along the line..."

"You get caught up in someone else's plans and you loose those things," I

said, hanging my head a little.

"Yes, something like that. Tell me, Demando-ouji-sama, do you look back on

your life and wish you could change things? Say 'yes' when you said 'no'?

Try a different path?" the blue hood shifted slightly as she cocked her

head, moving those expressive lips into full view.

"Hai," I said empathetically, "But what...?"

"The road not taken was a better choice," Lys said mysteriously. For a

moment, the comment hung in the air as if held by light, airy wings.

"What about you and Usagi?" The question had been waiting since the night

before, and as I uttered it my body and mind began to clamor once more for

the sight of the golden would-be queen.

"I'm here to help her, to give her support, same as you are," Lys replied,

much more carefully than she had before. Then she leaned forward, that

strange language in which her body spoke uttering that this was important.

Her quiet voice betrayed nothing, "You will help her, won't you?"

I reached for the glass of water quickly, to delay my response. It is a

unique experience, to hold something like love inside yourself, have it eat

away at you in an endless cycle of pain and pleasure. My love for Serenity

was like that, I held it inside myself, let it become a part of me until I

couldn't operate without it. For this woman to think that I would withhold

anything from Usagi- well, it was inconceivable. But I couldn't tell her

that, of course. To talk of my love (who came *up* with that pale, stupid,

inexpressive word!?) would be to diminish it.

So I said, "Of course I'll help her," with as little emotion as possible.

Lys sat back. It satisfied her, anyhow.

After a moment of silence, I glanced at my own empty plate and realized

that Lys hadn't eaten a thing.

"Aren't you going to have breakfast?" I asked.

"Would you like me to?" Inwardly, I considered that she was developing a

habit of turning the tables more quickly than I liked.

"Doesn't matter whether I want you to or not," I said diplomatically,

pleased that my wits were coming back to me, "Matters whether or not you're

hungry."

"I'll have to eat later," she said, rising to her feet. She cast what I

guessed to be a hurried glance at the clock on the wall, then shook her

head. "How long until I learn to be on *time*, I ask you?" she mumbled.

Focusing her attention back on myself, she said, "I need to go now. Stay

here."

She was gone then.

I surprised myself by listening to her. Once a servant told me not to

touch a candle, and I burned my hand. At one time, Saffir told me not to

listen to the Wiseman and.. well, I suppose that is the best example of my

nature. First, I explored my immediate surroundings, which turned out to be

a one bedroom apartment. Aside from my own room, there was only the kitchen

and a small living room- which meant my hostess was camping out

uncomfortably, or she was staying somewhere else altogether I added this to

my growing list of oddities and clues, but turned my attention to the

fulfillment of a childhood wish as faintest touches of light bled into the

sky.

Standing on the balcony, I found myself almost intoxicated. Earth, the

whole of it, was simply more color, more life, more sound and more movement

than the rotting ball of dust I had called my home. The colors were of the

sunrise enchanting- here in the growing blue, Usagi's eyes; in the faint

pink, that glimpse of her skin and OH the sun....

The guilt, thankfully, held off until after the light was high in the sky.

There was guilt, believe me. From the time I had been a young boy, I had

always had Saffir as my shadow, Esmerude as my cheering section and Rubeus

as my second-thoughts. I will admit to still feeling grave distaste for my

red-haired companion, perhaps more than I can justify. He had been weak,

yes, and Nemesis is a place that tolerates no weaknesses. I had known all

along that Esmerude killed him, perhaps indirectly, but murder all the

same. Never once did I mention it, or make her pay, and as I stood looking

at the sun, I still found justification for it. But Saffir...

I can not tell you in words what Usagi means to me, nor can I tell you in

words how much a part of me my brother became. He was my only source of

approval, of love and of acceptance Esmerude loved me only as long as she

could keep me propped up on that pedestal, but my little brother loved me

even as I dragged him into hell. For the longest time I sat there, bathed

in the beauty of Earth my brother had been denied. I did not cry, because I

did not know how to go about it, and I knew that I would fail miserably if

I tried. I have never been one to do things I'm not good at. When Lys found

me, I was still on that balcony, staring at my hands which had touched and

wanted and built and killed.

"Would you like to go for a walk?" I started, but only a little, and

looked up to see the Lys' now familiar featureless blue.

"Where did you go?" another question fell from my lips.

"Elsewhere," she shrugged, and I realized just how much effort she had to

put into all of her movements. How tired was she?

"The walk sounds nice," I said, and held open the door for her.

---

We walked in the shade once we arrived at the park for, as much as I loved

the sun's warmth, I found it to be a bit overwhelming. Lys seemed to have

anticipated this, and with a gentle hand on my elbow, she steered me

towards the trees.

"It's so green," I said, gazing around me. I must have looked horribly

like a child then, with my mouth hanging open.

"It is," Lys nodded, heavily again. Whatever small amount of contentment

she'd had that morning seemed to have vanished.

"You- you don't understand," I said, perhaps a bit bitterly, "You live

here."

"I can imagine," she said, her tone apologetic, "compared to the fires,

the blackened... Well, I can appreciate it." I opened my mouth several

times, wondering what she had come from and seen. Though I couldn't see her

face, her body seemed to want to curl in on itself for protection, the

folds of her blue robe settled into lines of sadness Finally, I turned away

to give her come privacy, turning my gaze out to the lake. Emotional

displays had always made me somewhat uncomfortable, but Lys' pain seemed to

be the most private kind. For a time I stared at the rippling water, before

the sound of adolescent chatter swelled and rose to my ears. I looked

around to see the flood of students entering the park, all excited,

talking, laughing and moving in their new freedom. There was something I

understood, I thought as I cast my mind back over my own years of

schooling. Leaning against the tree trunk, I watched the girls and boys

with mild interest.

I felt her then, watching me, and my whole body become a thing devoted to

drinking in the awareness of her existence. Somehow, despite Lys open

discussion, it hadn't seemed real to me that I would see Her again. Slowly,

feeling, waiting, wanting, I turned my head just slightly and looked across

the road. She was there, as I knew she would be, and I froze. Our gazes

locked, but not before I had taken in the whole of her- longer hair, a

different uniform, her hand clutched protectively at the brooch settled

between her breasts. The look in her eyes hurt only slightly- there was no

hatred, no anger or resentment therein. Only the deep, hypnotic blue of

Tsukino Usagi's eyes as they widened in absolute disbelief. My muscles

relaxed into a state of lazy happiness under her attention. I had never

felt less divided from her. We had been closer physically, true (my hands

clenched as I thought of her eyes shut tightly, hiding themselves from me

as I shook her). Looking at her now, she did not seem afraid, just confused

and and bit strained.

What had happened to her during my year and a half of

darkness-blackness-death? I watched as Usagi lowered her hand away from her

brooch and began to move towards the cross-walk. My throat tightened- what

could I say to *her*? It seemed far too late for apologies and

explanations. As it was, I had no explanation to give- she knew what I saw

in her and what I had wanted.

It was almost a relief when I saw the other senshi coming up the street

behind her. They hadn't seen me yet, but it would only be a few minutes

before they reacted their leader. Usagi herself hadn't seen them yet, and I

smiled slightly as I slowly raised my hand to gave her a two-fingered

salute. It's easy to be cocky when you don't have to own up to it right

away. There was something in her eyes then, more than surprise, but I only

saw it slightly as I turned away.

Glancing over where Lys should have been, I opened my mouth, closed it,

and let my shoulders droop in something like defeat. Perhaps I should have

known, given what little experience I had with my companion, but that woman

made the damnst habit of vanishing. I looked across the street and saw that

Usagi had also been distracted by a small, red-headed girl child. Not the

Rabbit, at least- that would have been bad. Come to think of it, I wasn't

sure just how much the pink haired brat (do excuse me, I can't help but be

bitter- be it justifiable or not) remembered of her time as Black Lady. In

a way it didn't matter, the Crown Princess of Crystal Tokyo would *not* be

happy to see me, and I didn't want anything to taint my renewed relations

with Usagi. I couldn't afford a mistake now, not when I had a clean slate.

No, the child was too small to be Chibi Usa, she was nothing more than a

toddler. A sister then? Perhaps.

The other Senshi were still a ways off, having stopped at some

street-stand, so I turned and hurried back in the direction Lys and I had

come. I knew that, whatever Usagi's reaction, her protectors would react a

bit violently to my presence, if our history was any indication.

I could only hope I remembered the way back to the apartment.

---

My little 'encounter' with Usagi had kindled my interest in the world at

large, so when I arrived back at the apartment the first thing I did was

turn on the radio. This proved to be something of a mistake, as I only

caught the end of the news report and found myself assaulted by truly

horrid music. From the announcer's approach, it appeared to be fairly

popular, though I myself had little positive to say about the "Three

Lights". That avenue momentarily exhausted, I turned to going over my room

with a fine tooth comb.

I truly despise having information with-held from me.

Lys was gone as the sun vanished and my weary, over stimulated eyes

rejoiced in the relative darkness. She was gone when the clock in the

kitchen struck midnight and I finally collapsed on my wrought-iron bed.

Sometime during the night, however, I surfaced from a dream of being

wrapped in careful, strangely pleasurable web to feel the softness of

fingers pressed against my face and neck. They moved swiftly and left in

their wake that same, cool, happy feeling I had when I felt Usagi's eyes on

me. I remember reaching out, blindly in the darkness, as they brushed the

hair away from my face, but they were gone in that next instant. Perhaps

that too, was a dream.

If Lys resurfaced at all during the night, I'll never know, for I woke the

next morning to a silent, sun-streaked apartment. Completely out of my

element, I wondered what in the world I would do for the day. After all, I

no longer had Lys' orders to stay where I was, and even if I had them I was

beginning to wonder if I would have listened. A caged feeling began to

creep up on me as I rooted through the cupboards looking for a food I could

recognize. Not trusting myself with the unfamiliar breads and greens Lys

had stocked, I was relived to find a wad of primitive currency laying on

the table. There was a short, hurried note from my shadowy companion.

"Take this," was all her dainty script had to say. I glanced at the paper

money with some distaste, realizing that this was yet another thing I would

owe her for. As much as I'm ashamed to admit it, I felt it might be better

to not have her help at all- so much was my hatred for feeling grateful or

in debt. Finally, my common sense won out over my pride, and I pocketed the

money, heading out onto the street.

Having found something relatively safe-looking to fill my stomach with, I

set about familiarizing myself with the district. From the numerous

school-children out and about, it must have been a day off. I actually

found them more amusing than annoying, so many of the girls reminded me of

Esmerude at a younger age. They were, all in all, rather harmless. As I had

no place in particular to go, I wondered in and out of several surrounding

parks, taking the time to study the varied plants- especially the flowers.

I was fascinated by their colors, by the way they opened themselves to the

light, but try as I might I could not remember their names. Saffir had been

considerably young when he began studying what limited records we had

concerning Earth's vegetation He learned the names of all the flowers and

sketched them, one by one. To the ill-fated day he left Nemesis they had

hung on a wall in his chambers, and he called them his "paper-garden". Now

I looked at the flowers and felt sadness. I suppose I was truly being reborn

then, for I began to wonder just why my brother had loved me when I had

given so little in return.

Yes, it was then I realized I was changing- becoming someone I did not

know.

One of the parks' numerous paths spilled out onto the sidewalk, and I was

about to go back the way I had come when something caught my eye. Even from

my place far down the street I could see and here the utter chaos coming

from a school up ahead. Intrigued, I decided to take a look.

Very well, I will not lie- many of the young girl's were wearing the

uniform I had seen on Usagi the day prior.

---

The chaos turned out to be a festival of some sort- lively and colorful

enough to rival any I had seen on Nemesis, but a bit tame. I found I liked

watching the people far more than I ever had when I had been forced to

participate back home. I wandered from booth to booth, occasionally

stopping, but mostly not terribly impressed. From time to time, I would

stop and look around, searching for a certain face in the growing crowd-

but I was to be disappointed. I must have spent longer in the parks than I

had anticipated, for I was hungry by the time the my shadow disappeared and

the sun reached its peak. A group of students were running a small cafe

that, to my surprise, smelled wonderful.

It has become my belief that the universe has a perverse sense of timing.

I entered the small cafe, whose food proved to look as good as it smelled,

and stood in the long line to place my order. Being dead seemed to have

taught me something about patience as well, but then, there was a lot to

occupy my mind while I waited. Lost in thought, I found myself half-way

listening to a comforting, beautiful sound in the background, but I wasn't

really aware of it. I had simply relaxed into a state where thought

registered more slowly, and it was only when the sound moved closer that I

realized what it was. Turning quickly, I found myself facing the door to

the kitchen, whose threshold framed the golden image of Usagi, once more

frozen in disbelief. The tray she had been carrying dropped to the floor

and shattered there.

Feeling more than a little guilty, I pushed through the crowded isles to

help her. She was already on her knees picking up the pieces, her shoulders

drooping as she shook her head.

"Let me help you," I said, bending over and placing one of the broken

glasses on the tray. In a movement that rippled through her long golden

hair, her head jerked up. Once her eyes locked with mine it was nigh

impossible to look away.

"It *is* you," she said, her voice a soft, hushed whisper. I had hungered

for that voice and not known it. She laughed a little, blushing under what

must have been my very intense gaze. "I thought I was loosing my mind,

but... here you are."

"Yes," I murmured, unable to think of anything else to say.

"How?" she asked, breathlessly.

"I'm not quite sure," admitting that was easier than I had thought it

would be. Slowly, her eyes moving back up to look into my own, she reached

her hand out to pick up a broken plate. My own gaze fell her fingers,

trembling and looking caught, and I noticed with some pain that there was a

ring on her left hand. A pale pink stone glittered up at me, impassive and

surrounded by a court of (what else but?) diamonds. Had it rested against

any other finger I might have found it mildly pretty. Usagi let out a sharp

gasp, and I realized belatedly that I had seized her hand, which was now

thrashing like a captured bird within my own. Immediately, I loosened my

grip- but only slightly. Her hand relaxed, and I ran my thumb gently over

her knuckles, trying to ease the damage I had done.

"You have beautiful hands," I said, doing my best to ignore the pinkish

gem and its cool regard. I watched as color rose to her cheeks, and if I am

not mistaken, even her hands blushed under my praise. I smiled- only

slightly -and released her, trying to focus my attention on the broken

glass.

"Demando..." she said quietly as I helped her lift the tray. A few of the

cafe's customers were looking at us a bit strangely, but I was relieved to

see that the senshi were not among them.

"Yes, Usagi?" my voice was as low as her own.

"I... oh!" quite suddenly, she was jarred again, this time from behind,

and the two of us looked down to see that strange, red-headed toddler

clutching Usagi's leg. "Chibi-chibi!" Usagi scolded lightly, "You scared

me!" At this close range, it seemed quite possible that the child *was*

Usagi's sister, I noted, looking at the girl's red buns of hair and wide,

guileless blue eyes. As soon as she noticed me, the little girl moved her

grasp from Usagi's leg to my own.

"Chibi-Chibi!" she cooed happily, tugging lightly on my pant-leg.

"Is this you sister?" I asked Usagi, noting that her own face held a smile

of amusement. She smiled a great deal, I knew- but it was rare enough for

me.

"Y-yes," she said, bending down to pat Chibi-Chibi's head. "I thought you

were going to stay home with Mama today?" she asked the child. Rather than

answer her older sister, the toddler looked up at me instead.

"Chibi-chibi..." she said, in what I think was supposed to be a stern

tone. She waved one of her chubby arms in the direction of my apartment,

"Stay home today!"

"I think I've been dismissed," I said to Usagi, shaking my head just a

little. The golden girl smiled in slight embarrassment and opened her mouth

to say something when we were interrupted again. This time, it was the

voice of Senshi Jupiter, coming from the kitchen.

"Usagi, did you deliver that order?" Ah, yes, I *quite* remember that

voice from the supposedly diplomatic discussions in Crystal Tokyo. It

seemed to be my cue for a strategic retreat, and Usagi's own blue eyes

conveyed to me more than a little apprehension about her court's reaction.

She gave me an apologetic look and turned away quickly, disappearing into

the kitchen. I watched her go, fondly this time, because I felt now that I

had all the time in the world. Despite the small, aching protest I felt

within myself, I thought that I wouldn't mind if our current relations

stayed like this.

"CHIBI!" another tug on my pant-leg drew my attention to Usagi's sister,

who now had her impossibly small hands on her hips.

"What?" I asked.

"Chibi!" she waved her arms in childish annoyance. Bemused, I turned and

began walking out of the cafe, but a look over my shoulder revealed that

the child was still watching me expectantly.

"I'm going..." I informed her, turning around once more. At the door, I

found myself pushed aside by a dark-haired young man. Annoyed by his

rudeness and even more by the fact that his visage bore resemblance to one

on those terrible 'Three Lights' posters that hung everywhere, I shoved

back. It didn't seem to phase him in the least, as he continued on his way

toward the kitchen.

Walking home, I filed the experience out of my mind, and instead thought

of Usagi's warm hands held in my own. That pink gem, however, winked in and

out of my mind, torturing me with thoughts of how it rested against Usagi's

skin continually, as if it belonged there- as if it was a part of her.

My own rage surprised me. Indeed, I did not realize how tightly I had wond

myself until I had been in the apartment for about a half an hour, pacing

like some caged animal and turning that same image of Usagi's adorned left

hand over in my mind. I remembered being fifteen and seeing the first image

of Neo-Queen Serenity, silhouetted against the Crystal Tokyo skyline as she

ushered in the new year. The transmission was far more clear than most that

reached our far-flung moon, and I was stunned by the sincerity in her voice

as she spoke to her people. She did not address them, she spoke TO them, as

if they were each separate beings in her mind. I was fascinated, but it

wasn't until later that I realized just who she was. That light, airy being

was the powerful, generous woman in my history texts, the one that

(according to our records) had resisted the idea of banishing our people.

It had been her senshis' choice, it had been their council that decided our

fate. I was enchanted by her then, but not in love. It was when she stepped

off the transport and lit the dull landscape of Nemesis with her

indescribable light that she became truly real to me. When she held out to

me a pot in which was seated a perfect, white Lilly, she became human.

Passing the flower to me, our hands brushed, and I loved her then.

"For peace," she said.

Two months later her husband delivered the notice that we were officially

at war.

Pain exploded in my right hand, and I looked down to see the consequences of

my all-consuming, sudden rage. The glass I had been holding was crushed,

its shards biting at my palm like hungry little demons. Sad to say, but the

Jakokuzuishou did not create my horrible temper- it only served to amplify

it. Barely feeling anything now, I looked down at my hand with only slight

interest, watching as the tiny rivers of red cut new paths along my skin.

The quick open and close of the front door was the only thing that roused

me from my study, and I raised my head to see Lys enter, her robes

billowing around her, but not enough to reveal anything. She moved quickly,

without that grace she had learned, and hurried into the living room.

"Lys...?" I felt the worry explode within me somewhere, as the pain had,

and it spread just as quickly. The came no answer from the living room, and

I hurried to the threshold. She was sitting on the small wicker couch near

the radio, huddled and bent as if she could make herself smaller and

disappear altogether The blue silk quivered around her- she was shaking

with silent sobs.

I thought that I should leave her there, as I would have wanted another to

do for me. From childhood my earliest lesson had been that pain was never

to be shared, and happiness only grudgingly. But I couldn't turn my back,

having felt the touch of her hands and the comfort of her quite, patient

company. Somewhat awkwardly, I sat beside her, placed my hand on the barest

edge of her robes as if they were an extension of her form.

"Lys...?"

"It's all happening- like it did before! I'm not doing anything to make

things better!" I'd never heard anyone's voice shake like that, a loose,

miniscule grain of sand in the most violent of wind-storms.

"What's happening?" I asked, distantly thinking that we were reverting to

the way we usually related to each other- her strange statements and my

demanding questions. She sat there, still shaking, and did not turn her

hooded face to me. I waited- what else could I do?

"Could you...?" her voice was the slightest bit more steady, so quiet I

almost missed it, "Could you.. hold my hand please?" One dainty expanse of

flesh withdrew from the sapphire folds, hovering there afraid. My own hands

were quick to catch it, though I know not why, and it rested there, pressed

between them, quiet and still.

Ringless.

Belatedly I realized that my right hand was covered in blood, and felt the

sting of embarrassment. Slowly, I tried to move the one hand so that it

would escape notice, but the small movement was all it took to attract Lys'

attention. Her hand now gripped my own, and I was surprised by the

intristic strength.

"What did you do?" she asked, her voice soaked with tears.

"I'll clean it up," I said, a bit roughly. She drew my bloodied hand to

her chest and held it there for a moment, against the rising and falling

warmth.

"Thank you," it was in her touch as well as her words, "It's been ages,

since I've had someone to talk to."

"Y-your welcome," I managed, more than a little surprised. She released my

hand and I placed the clean one on her shoulder, squeezing lightly before I

turned towards the kitchen.

"Demando," it was the first time she had addressed me without my title,

and I stopped.

"Yes?"

"Sometimes- sometimes people have different kinds of love."

"I see," I didn't- not really.

I think she knew that.

---

The next few days proved rather uneventful for me, but apparently not for

Usagi. The radio carried continuous reports of Senshi activity, and I found

myself mildly entertained by the announcers wild speculation, but more

disturbed by the idea that there was indeed still a challenge to the future

Queen's authority. I wracked my brain, trying to remember if I had learned

anything about this period, but it was all for naught. Details about Sailor

Moon's prior exploits were vague to begin with, but there were some periods

(for example, how she came to hold her position) that were absolute

black-outs. The radio also gave details of several new senshi that had been

sighted, and even from that little description I knew that the new three

were not, in fact, the outers at all. Uranus, Neptune and Saturn seemed

already to be familiar faces- which made me even more confused. I was about

to turn off the radio, which had reverted back to the hideous noise the

Three Lights called 'music', when the announcer broke in with another

report. It seemed that another stranger had appeared, or so said a few

civilians that had glimpsed her. The 'Ruby Lady', as they were calling her,

had appeared at the Juuban Festival. Pity, I thought, I seemed to have

missed all the action. She didn't appear to be a senshi, though. All the

details seemed to point to a period of time I was not familiar with, so I

eventually turned the radio off in a state of complete frustration.

Lys' appearances became few and far between. I think we only shared

breakfast one other time, and there was never any hope of seeing her during

the day. Once or twice she appeared at odd intervals in the evening, but I

had long given up on finding a rhyme or reason to it. She always had a kind

word when we did see each other, and when I inquired about repaying her for

her kindness, she gave only vague, mysterious statements about the 'right

time'. Thus, most of my time was spent alone, visiting the parks or the

library and reading what I could.

---

The rain came suddenly and without warning, its large, falling drops of

water making a kind of dull roar in the background. In many ways, it

startled me. I had never seen rain before, and it shocked me that the Earth

had so many things in abundance that it could afford to allow water to fall

from the sky. It was a strange rain, as if the Earth's large, blue dome had

witnessed something that suddenly made it reconsider the beautiful day and

replace it with dull blue. Most of the pedestrians around me took cover

quickly, but I found the impromptu shower somewhat refreshing, and only

moved under the cover of a small picnic area when the tempo picked up.

I leaned against one of the tables and watched the rain, wondering when I

had learned not to be inconvenienced. This pace of life, this living each

moment as if it was a separate thing, was so new to me. Part of me still

wanted to rush onward, sweeping over the next horizon like a Nemesis

windstorm to see what lay in store. However, so fascinated was I with the

whole of the Earth that it was almost impossible not to stop and look and

smell and feel. In this rainstorm, cease and match within me, and I could

not help but wonder why. This new rhythm was the one that urged me to turn

my gaze to the hill, and I felt the swift talons of my own malnourished

wants close around my heart.

It was Usagi, it could be no one else. There wasn't a soul on this Earth

or any other that had sensitized me so that I felt her presence the moment

she neared. I was out from under the flimsy, wooden roof before I knew it,

hurrying up the hill to meet her. She had been in the harsh rain longer

than I, for the crystalline drops had soaked into her clothing, and now the

soft white and deep blue of her uniform hugged her outlines closely. It was

a portrait I had never hoped to see, and somehow she was more beautiful in

the rain-soaked chaste of her school fuku than she had been in her imperial

white. Somehow, I couldn't blame the water for wanting to run along her

skin. Usagi's own eyes were trained on the ground, studying it intently, so

it was little wonder that the sound of my approach startled her. She drew

back slightly, and the look in her wide, expressive blue eyes was of a pain

I could not comprehend.

"Usa..." my throat closed around the last syllable of her name, but the

rest of it hung there in the rain between us. It somehow felt complete.

"Demando," she nodded her head slowly, and rain-burinshed bronze locks

fell forward, clinging to her face. The rain itself was not cold, but wind

was, as another gust passed between us, she shivered visibly.

"You must be freezing," I said, feeling concerned and also a little bit

stupid. What was it about her that made words so hard to find? I moved

closer, slightly, afraid I would frighten her away. Quickly, I took off my

jacket and offered it to her. "It's a little damp," I said, holding out the

leather, "but you're already soaked..."

"Thank you," her voice was heavy with her pain, but she allowed me to

settle the jacket around her shoulders.

"Come on," I said gently, moving my hand to the small of her back, "Let's

get out of this rain." Nodding in acceptance, she moved that one little

step and somehow managed her way so that my arm was around her shoulder.

Perhaps it was a movement on both our parts, but it was seamless. Indeed,

I'd never been this close to her, and I struggled to quiet my heart- at

least so that she might mistake it for the rhythm of the rain that fell

around us.

There was a small restaurant just outside the park, already parked with

people attempting to wait out the rain. The sound of thunder cried out in

the distance, though, so Usagi and I soon found our shelves in the small

establishment. It was a bit chilly inside, but at least we were out of the

storm. From time to time I glanced down at my companion, who never raised

her eyes from the floor or said a word as we entered and made our way to a

booth in the back. Something had leeched the feeling out of her, it seemed,

and I fought down my rage at the culprit, instead choosing to draw Usagi

just a bit closer.

"Will you get the lady some hot chocolate?" I asked the waiter, waving

aside Usagi's half-hearted protests. "Don't worry about it."

"This is the second time you've done something for me," she murmured,

pulling my jacket in around her small form.

"I owe you," I remarked quietly, and when she raised those clouded blue

eyes I realized that she didn't know how much she'd done for me. Silence

fell as she turned back inside herself, and it wasn't until the

hot-chocolate was placed in front of her that I dared interrupt her quiet

thoughts. "Usa," I tasted the name as it moved past my lips, "What's

wrong?"

"I..." she shook with the effort of holding her silence inside. She hung

her head, "I shouldn't be telling you this."

"I don't know about that," I said, somehow guessing that this wasn't a

subject she could share with her protectors. Why else would she hold it in?

Neither Usagi or Serenity had ever been secretive about whatever they were

feeling.

"It's just so hard," she gasped out suddenly, her eyes widening, looking

like she longed to take the words back.

"To do what?" I said, my voice lower than a whisper.

"To get up in the morning, to move and be happy when," she'd been so

still, and suddenly she was leaning against me, her face buried in my damp

shirt. Something exploded there, and I held my breath for a moment before I

put my arm around her. How did one comfort another? Like crying, it was

something beyond my experience, but this... I wanted to try, even if I

didn't do it very well.

"He's gone," Usagi said at last, "Mamo-chan is gone and he won't answer my

letters. I write him every day, and I keep praying, but it's like he's not

there anymore." That was the emotion held in her darkened eyes-

abandonment. I quelled the red-hot anger that rose, lifting a hand to touch

Usagi's hair. "It's just me now," her voice was low, mournful, "And I

can't.. I can't be alone!" For a moment, I struggled to find something to

say. Words seemed pathetically pale, and as I ran my hand along her back I

tried to push tenderness into the movement- so that she might know she

wasn't completely alone. My own emotions would come later, I thought,

forcing them into a distant part of myself. "And today," the golden girl

murmured, each syllable charged with longing, "I thought I saw him. You

don't know how happy I was, I thought he'd come back! Even for just that

moment, I had so much hope and then..." she burrowed closer, and I knew

that come wasn't moving to *me*, but away from something else, "It wasn't

HIM!" For a while, Usagi and the sky cried together, and I held her there,

feeling the weight of her against me. She raised her head and moved away

from me suddenly, with a guilty look in her eyes that made me perhaps more

angry than knowledge that Endymion had left her alone.

"You have a right to..." I fumbled for the word, "to be human. You

shouldn't have to be alone." Usagi's lips parted ever so slightly, and I

found myself hypnotized by their color and shape. I held myself very still,

because I don't think I could have done anything then but kiss her. Moving

forward ever so slightly, I saw her eyes fill with certain knowledge. She

would not pull back, but she didn't want this.

I stopped, slowed the pounding of blood through my veins a smiled in a way

that I hoped was reassuring.

"No," I said, "I wouldn't do that to you."

Who was this man that said these things?

I'd never seen such light as the tiny glow that lit behind her eyes then,

and she reached for my hands, clasping it between her own small ones. It

was a mirror reversal, but of what? She cradled them close, in motion so

familiar it sent me reeling, and her eyes were filled with different tears

when she raised them again. She said a word that meant 'thank you' but

conveyed so much more and, filled with a sudden bliss, I helped her to her

feet.

We didn't speak when we parted, but we didn't need to. I would see her

when the time was right, as Lys had said, and I knew that Usagi would be

okay. Perhaps not immediately, but she herself didn't seem to know the

strength she held.

----

The further I walked towards the apartment, the more the monster of my own

jealous and hatred began to gain on me. For a moment I was seized by the

silly desire to run, but even that wouldn't do any good. I unlocked the

door, feeling my distaste for Endymion in every atom of my body, and

stalked into the kitchen.

"Did you see her?" Lys was sitting at the table, her hooded face held at

an angle of expectance.

"Yes," I said, trying to keep my voice from having any effect on the

words. The draped blue form continued to sit there, staring at me, waiting.

For a while I resisted, standing in the hallway, damp and chilled but

determined. But this was Lys patient, Lys calm and Lys filled with

strength. "He left her alone," my anger cut the words to pieces. "He made

her cry."

"So have you," there was no accusation, no condemnation in her words. She,

after all, spoke the truth.

"Yes," I admitted, "But he... She chose him, over me."

"Or she chose him before you," Lys corrected.

"Isn't that the same thing?"

She didn't answer right away, but studied those light, careful hands I had

held the day before. Finally, she said, "Some souls love each other for

lifetimes, deeply, passionately. Then the next lifetime, they pass one

another on the street and only spare each other a look."

"Why?" my voice sounded strangled in my own ears.

"Love is patient, love is kind, but love," Lys paused, "also changes.

Change is the way of things. Perhaps those to souls still love each other

deeply and passionately, but they have their own road to walk."

"I don't..." I began, not sure of what I was saying.

"You will," Lys said quietly, not with certainty but with hope, "I

remember it now... today. You will."

"Who are you, really?" I asked. The sapphire shadow trembled slightly,

almost unnoticeably

"I still don't know."

Lys became more than a puzzle to me then. One moment she seemed to

certain, so in control, and the next she was sad beyond comprehension. Her

whole manner seemed like a struggle to balance that sad weight she carried

with her, and I was beginning to understand that she was not someone

accustomed to operating alone. That wasn't to say she didn't seem

independent- but her strength, perhaps like Usagi's, seemed to flow from

her love for other people. And that was something beyond my realm of logic.

Despite her abrupt appearance in the afternoon, Lys was gone for the next

two days at a stretch. Sometimes I would come home (just when the apartment

became home to me, I do not know) to find signs that she had been there, or

enter the living room to find the lingering remnants of her scent, but

still she did not surface. During this time, Tokyo acquired a heady,

waiting quality, and it seemed to me that its already hurried residents

gained an even more frantic pace. I thought about Nemesisian tunnel worms,

who built their homes in the charred remains of trees and, just before the

deadly, yellow storms came, would build more frantically than ever. They

didn't seem to realize that it wouldn't last. I don't know, maybe they

found comfort in the extra work.

As for what Tokyo, a strange consciousness in its own right, sensed over

the horizon, well... I could hazard a guess, but I didn't like it.

---

I had taken to wasting my mornings in the apartment and only venturing

outside once the sun was on the downward slope. My body was truly a thing

of Nemesis, and the early morning and high periods of the sun seemed to

make me incredibly ill. I hated that, but there was nothing I could do. It

seemed the dark, narrow kingdom of Nemesis didn't want to release her hold

of me just yet. I was reminded of one of the original colonists' names for

the planet- Our Lady of Darkness, they said.

Late afternoons *were* pleasant on Terra, and the fine weather had only

been temporarily interrupted by the rain. So, when Tokyo's waiting swelled

to full, I was out walking in the Juuban District, carefully avoiding the

Stadium in which those awful 'Three Lights' were having their concert. The

radio had talked of nothing else of days, but I for one would not be sorry

to see them go. Much to my dismay, even though the park was fairly far from

the arena, I found that the traffic was over flowing to the point of being

backed up far out into the suburbs. It was insane how popular those three

boys were- one had to wonder...

I had just about reached my limit on the noise and growing heat, so I

turned, intending a retreat to the park in the Azubu District, and a sudden

movement in the growing shadows caught my eye. I stopped, feeling only

slightly threatened, reminding myself NOT to reach for the Jakokuzuishou.

The shadows erupted into chaos as a figure attempted to detach itself from

their company, and then the silken form of Lys moved out into the sunlight.

"What are you...?" I glanced around at the surrounding buildings, all of

them towering high, now seemingly collections of trembling shapes. They

too, were waiting.

"You need to go," Lys said, her voice different than ever before, "Go back

to the apartment, lock the doors, lay down- sleep, do something, but lay

down."

"Why?" I asked, bewildered.

"It's coming, I know you can feel it," she said, maybe a touch harshly,

"It will be here soon, and you don't want to be outside when it happens."

"What about you?"

"I'll be alright- I can take care of myself."

"So can I," I said defensively, acutely aware of the Jakokuzuishou's

absent power.

"Among normal humans, yes," Lys nodded, "but this thing that is gathering-

no. Don't worry, it'll be better soon."

"Better?" I watched the movement of the fabric around her body, wondering

why it would not speak of her emotions as it had before.

"Yes, I'm going to change things, I'll make the right decision this time,"

she shook herself, "HURRY!"

"Very well," I said, trying to hide the panic her words stirred within me.

She bowed, having regained that learned grace of hers, and moved past me

down the street. I watched her go for a moment, until her form was lost

with the crowd, then moved back to the apartment as quickly as necessary.

---

I waited, laying in my bed, gazing at the blue, blue sky outside my

window. The whole city was waiting, whether it was aware of that fact or

not. For a while I considered that Lys had perhaps over-reacted in her

panic, and I fully admit that my faith in her was not as strong as it might

have been. Everything she said so far had come to pass, but this...

I moved out of bed, feeling guilty but rebellious, intent on at least

turning on the radio. Even if I had to endure the 'Three Lights', the quiet

of the apartment somehow seemed more disturbing than it usually did.

I was no more than three steps away from the bed when the ground shook

wildly and the firm Earth became a rolling, turbulent sea. The force of

that first tremor, threw me unexpectedly, and I blanked for a moment. When

I was aware once more, only a few seconds had passed, but I had a fresh,

bleeding wound from were my head had connected with the nightstand. The red

on my hands matched the sudden, falling red of the sky, and I watched as

the aquamarine I had so come to love was curtained with darkness.

Everything else became black, silhouetted and dark against the vibrant

crimson, and it was suddenly very hard to breathe. I stumbled back towards

the bed, fighting the horrible shaking with each step. One worry consumed

my thoughts-

Usagi would be out there, Usagi in her flimsy sailor fuku, fighting

whatever presence now choked the air with hatred.

Lys was not home.

Something had a hold on the Earth, I came to understand as the screams of

people unfortunate enough to be caught on the street rose to assault my

ears. I grasped the headboard, jarred as the bed was slammed up against the

wall and then slid away again. As quickly as it had come, the quake

stopped, but what came after it was much worse. It is hard- no impossible

to describe what it was or the pain it brought with it, but the closest

thing I can say is that it was like someone dowsed the Earth in poison.

Clasping my temples in miserly, I collapsed on the bed. I moved my eyes to

the ceiling, imploring whatever higher powers there were to aid Usagi and

the senshi- my former enemies- in their fight. There came an odd glow, and

at first I didn't realize it emanated from my own forehead; that is, until

it spread like opening petals and a revealed a strange crystal, hovering

where my third eye had once been.

I think I died then- I think all of Terra did.

---

I dreamed during my second death, but the images and sounds scatter even

now when I try to remember them. I woke lazily, feeling each cell of my

body individually as it flared to life. The sky was still dark, but it was

the rich blue of Lys' robes, dotted with lights- not bleeding as it had

before. There were sounds too, pleasant ones. There came the wind as it

moved through the city, the sound of others waking. I wondered how long it

took, but a blissful feeling lingered in my bones and I couldn't bring

myself to get up just yet.

Usagi had won, then. But at what price?

When the mists of rebirth left me at last, I sought out Usagi; somewhat

frantically, I'll admit. The park in Juuban was supposed to be closed, but

our death had passed over these things, interrupting them. I don't know why

I thought I'd find her there, when there were so many other places she

could have sought to bring herself back together. How did it feel, I

wondered, to come so close to loosing everything by your own hands, to know

that you had somehow managed to save it? Fear was in me then, too, and I

wondered why my heart was trying to break my ribs to pieces. I moved in the

black created by the trees, for even when you desert the darkness it never

forgets you, and it is always willing to let you move through it. I felt

more comfortable then, hidden, my emotions belonging solely to me. There

was no one else there to see them.

"You're here," how she saw me, I do not know. Think what you will, but I

am not so arrogant to believe that she was sensitized to me as I am to her.

I saw her standing, away from the darkness and composed of moonlight. She

said my name in a way she had never said it before. I waited a moment,

trying collect the thoughts and feelings and the way I wanted to touch her

hand, trying to put it all in one word and make it come out right.

"Usako," I had waited to long, and someone else said it perfectly. He-

Endymion, the would-be King of Earth- came up beside Usagi and placed his

arm where my own had been just days before. He did not see me in the

shadows, or did not want to.

"Mamo-chan," she turned her face up to look at him, and it was all airy

wonder and that thing that proceeds the merging of bodies.

"Were you waiting for me?" he asked. She said 'yes' in a way the would

have made any man blush, and they turned from my shadows and made their way

down towards the lake. Usagi looked back at me- but not for long enough.

She was alive, and she was gone, gone, gone from me. I moved back through

the darkness, feeling it's sensual arms embrace me, but my mind was filled

with Usagi's sad smile, and Usagi's tears, and Usagi wearing my jacket and

walking with me in the rain.

It wasn't fair- but I had always known that.

I should have expected Lys, but I hadn't felt that worry and fear for her,

so she had not been on my mind. She would survive, I knew, because the

universe seemed to demand her presence. It was another quality she shared

with Usagi, but she possessed it to a greater extent. I supposed I was a

bit angry with her, and I tried to pass her by.

"Baka," she said, not cruelly, but so that I knew she'd somehow seen what

had transpired. Reluctantly, I stepped from the shadows and sat on the

bench beside her. Lys' blue robes swallowed up the moonlight; she was a

thing of greater darkness against the dark sky.

"Did you change things?" I asked her, holding my pain closely, unwilling

to share it, "Did you make it better?" She startled me by laughing, and she

fascinated me because it was such a beautiful sound. It was a real laugh,

and it was hers.

"Things are the best the can be," she boldly, "There was nothing to

change. The thing that needed to be changed was in me. I found that

purpose, that strength that I had lost!" Without the burden of overwhelming

sadness, her voice was incredibly light and familiar. Her robes moved in

excitement, then settled, and she turned to me. The moonlight fell across

her cowl, revealing to me only her lips. They moved, but did not speak.

"She left me- I only had her for a moment- but she's gone now," I said,

knowing that she wanted me to say something.

"I don't know about that," Lys replied, "Do you regret loving her?"

"No," I did not pause to think about the answer, "It's part of who I am. I

don't have a reason for loving her- I don't need one." This answer pleased

Lys, I could see it in her hands as they settled in her lap. I added, "But

she doesn't love me." I felt something strange happening then, and I moved

my hands to my face to trace the cause of it.

"You've changed," Lys said suddenly, and had she tilted her head a little

bit more, I would have seen her face. I tried to get the salty drops off my

face, but they were coming so quickly that I couldn't make them stop. There

was a motion shared between us, and then my face was buried in the slim

curve of her neck. It stopped then, and I was glad, because I knew I hadn't

done it very well. "She does love you," her hands were in my hair, gentle.

"No," I protested, "no."

There came another laugh that swelled and broke over me like a wave

because it was not directed at me. "I have learned something today too.

Demando," Lys took my hand, cradled it to her chest. The familiarity made

me raise my head, "Do you think that a woman- that a human only has room

enough in their heart to love a single person?" She moved just so, and the

moon behind her lit so that her delicate outline was visible through the

silk.

"Who are you?" I asked, breathless.

In a single, fluid motion, the cowl fell away, and for a moment all I

could do was wonder how simple silk could swallow up so much radiance.

Disturbed only slightly, her long white waterfalls of hair shifted in the

breeze. They fell from their heart-shaped buns and framed her face, with

its two, wide blue eyes that still held their remarkable innocence. She was

ancient, but not old. Though she had many names, my mouth moved to form the

one I knew her by:

"Usagi."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I lied. I do that sometimes. ^_~

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

grins and turns to her beloved Demando Next you'll be showing up SuperS!

DEMANDO: ^^;

You have three options now:

1. Email mallorys-girl@cinci.rr.com with feedback.

2. Email mallorys-girl@cinci.rr.com with feedback.

3. Email mallorys-girl@cinci.rr.com with feedback.

PLEASE?

--------------------------------------------------

THE DEMANDO NETWORK

http://www.demando.net/

It's that sexy blackmoon tattoo- it's got to be.

^_~

--------------------------------------------------


End file.
